A December friend

Narrative.

Anyway, my fifteenth birthday went something like this: two girls, one guy, Five Guys, Nanny Diaries...carrot cake. I spent it with Marly and Evan, just a few weeks before Ev-dawg made the skip and jump to Colorado. A few weeks later, three families went to eat at Big Pie and then Ev left one sad lady on a rainy doorstep, with a big tight hug and a promise that goodbyes aren't really real. 

I turned twenty on Saturday, and for the first time in five birthdays, I got to be with my best friend. He drove eight hours for me and took me out for a very fun evening of fondue AND Lincoln. 

 

 

 

Between fifteen and twenty, there have been so many adventures: all of them serving to remind me that somewhere in the world is another soul who knows and dreams for my dreams. Who feels my fears, and triumphs at my successes. It is a special thing, to feel joy in the simple knowledge that happiness has touched someone else. Ev, you are special to me.  

TBF

  

I like birds.

I don't think that learning is really learning unless there's some pain involved. The more elbow grease I lather onto something, the better it seems to stick to me. It's not any kind of deep philosophy; it's just a truth that applies to most everything from learning not to wear your favorite white sneakers while mowing the lawn, because suddenly they became your favorite work shoes, to learning to spend as much time with your family as you can, because they aren't always around forever. I am learning a few things right now; some are new battles, others are old:

1. I'yam who I'yam. Sometimes I hide Elise because I forget how much I really like her. Just like anyone else, I have talents and I have things to offer and they ain't too bad. Every day, I'm learning to fill my own shoes and love them.
2. Life comes one day at a time. Gawsh, pity my roommates. I say this a LOT here in Club201. It's something I remind myself of often- decisions that are far down the road must be made far down the road, and the thing to do now is not to fret about things that will come when I am in completely different circumstances and able to handle them, but rather just to keep myself clean and moving forward and not too stuck in any one place. Let the future come when it will.
3. Opportunities that matter only come once. Only once the exact same way. Taking a look at the things I am really grateful for, I find that nearly all of them stem from a choice that was made that could easily have been made differently. The people I love dearly (even the ones I call my family) are with me as a result of somebody's choice. When trivial opportunities come, take them.

I love the symbolism of little birds. To me, they are the image of freedom. What it would feel like to have wings.

TBF

Life As We Know It

PS- When using the phrase, "Life as we know it" as a title- should I capitalize "as?" Gosh, if there is one downfall to the greatness of English and the potent, powerful pen, it's the conventions. Ich.

I finished my classes for the semester today. At this point, there is really very little to do but Totally Freak Out About Finals. Yeah, anyway.

Discoveries I have made this semester:

• I really like to cook. Who knew? Since moving into an apartment and doing my own making-of-money-with-which-I-feed-myself, planning meals, gwocery shopping and (oh yeah) cooking, I have discovered that it's rather enjoyable. I am getting better at it as time passes by. Favorites of the semester: Mom's spaghetti [sauce] recipe, slow-cooked Memphis BBQ, potato-bean-and-carrot-and-beef stew (better name for it?) and Paula Deen's punkin pie.
• Christ really does live and love me. I took New Testament, and as it turns out, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John helped me get to know my Savior a lot better than I ever did before. He knows my name; He knows my heart; He has been waiting for me.
• U.S. History can basically be told as an ever-newly nuanced epic of property, independence, race, and gender. And also, Lincoln wasn't all that keen on the emancipation boat in 1860. Huh.
• I like working in the Creamery WAY better than working in the Cannon.
• S'mores cupcakes at the Cocoa Bean aren't all that awesome...
• I stay up too late.

Also, a great huge shout-out to Ev-dawg, who passed his MPO this week and is now a certified engine driver! I'm so proud of you, Ev. You set your sights on something and you refused to give up till you got there. Catch a fire soon :]

With love,
TBF

Changes

I have not posted in about a week (I think? I don't really remember, actually) because life has carried some changes lately that I have not been sure how to write about. Being the blue-green Golden Retriever that I am (I spent the evening taking personality tests...can you tell?) change isn't my favorite thing. And to add, changes in the past semester have been the kind of changes that do not just happen; I have had to choose to make them happen. Like choosing to change my major. Or personal-life choices. Or choices about things I know I would like to do, but haven't known when to do. Etc.

It seems the older I get, the younger I feel...I have been able to realize a little more fully just how inexperienced I am. There are things I have not seen and felt and experienced yet... not things like seeing the Eiffel Tower. Things like, growing up.

As life moves forward, I am reminded that it is kind enough to come one day at a time.

On the other hand, it is finally December; a month of so many good things! I love December. Last night, though it was not actually December yet, I went to see the lights and the nativities at Temple Square; my favorite part was a toss-up between a Chinese nativity and a Native American nativity. (PS- I can lie to you, and tell you that if it had not been raining, I'd be posting pictures...but that's a lie. I am pretty bad at bringing my camera to things like this, slash, everything.)

It was a wonderful ushering-in of the month (December-eve?)

And now, let the countdowns begin:

Till I am done with finals: 13 days
Till I fly home: 14 days
Till I turn (gulp) 20: 15 days
Till Christmas: 25 days
Till Darry-berry's wedding: 28 days
Till a brand new year, with a fresh beginning: 31 days

31 days.

Flight

I thrust you, little bird;
A haven no more safe for newborn wing
Than the foxhole,

I thrust you out;
Earthfloor broke your wings,
And hid from me my own.

Verdant mind, sweet and green:
Dawn wakes; with freedom, fly
Where God grants the life of each new day.

It's a big world.

Nights are so introspective, for me.

Some nights, I go to bed a little more aware of just how small I am, and just how big the world is. Experiences that should make me feel a little more like I know something usually have an opposite effect.

And there's nothing to do about that, except to keep on living and figuring things out, one day at a time.

One day at a time.

'Night.

TBF

The People Person's Paper People- and TBF's 100th Birthday

Well, first things first. This is my 100th post! Happy birthday, little blog!

I am making my way through a tough wave of school. On Tuesday, I will take my fifth and sixth midterms in eighteen days. Within those same eighteen days, three papers were due and two books were read; jury summons were received and taken care of; classes were registered for, even though they required an act of jumping through a flaming hoop.

Phew. So basically, I've been busy with that and life has rolled on as normal.

Today there were some fun things to note, though:

I came home from class and work today and found this laying on my books! It happens to be one of my very favorite treats, and I knew right away that Miriam had left it for me. I am blessed with good friendships.

Miriam, Celeste and I went to our tri-ward Halloween dance tonight, too- I went as Pam Beesly. (Had simple gold hoop earrings, white sneakers for the Dundie, a Dunder Mifflin tag, and a perfectly nineties clip in my hair. It was a hit, y'all.)

Lots of fun.

Now- about those two midterms. Yawn.

-TBF