MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING!

Dear small circle of blog-readers,

My winter break has pressed on. I am starting week 3 of 3, which will be full of adventures, family time, packing, and flying up on back to P-town.

The most exciting event having transpired since last post is the wedding of my dear friend and now ex-roommate Darry Berry Barnett, who is now Darry Berry Hancock!

Here are Darian and Brad right as they came out of the St. Louis, Missouri temple. We so proud of her :]. And isn't she so pretty? Several of the temple workers came into the room where those of us who could not be in the sealing room of the temple (reserved only for endowed members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) were sitting. This included Miriam and I, plus Darian's two sisters, Sasha and Katya; both of her sets of grandparents, an aunt and an uncle, and some of Brad's siblings- and anyway, the temple workers all told us over and over what a beautiful bride she was!

 

 "KISS HER!"

This is just Miriam and I, I wish I had a better picture of all four bridesmaids. (I keep stalking facebook, waiting for the REAL pictures to pop up but so far, no luck...)

 

Aaaaannnddd... at the end of the night, when Miriam and I were helping hold the dress in it's bag... we maybe had to try on the veil... haha.

 

So congratulations, Darian and Brad. We are all so happy for you; it was a very sweet, special milestone day that y'all will remember forever. It must have shown on my face that I was just a little bit sad about giving away my roommate to Brad, because more than one member of Darian's family came to assure me that I'd still see her all the time- And it's definitely true.

Love and luck, we will be there in Provo to help set up the new apartment!! <3

TBF

(Bridesmaid edition)

A December friend

Narrative.

Anyway, my fifteenth birthday went something like this: two girls, one guy, Five Guys, Nanny Diaries...carrot cake. I spent it with Marly and Evan, just a few weeks before Ev-dawg made the skip and jump to Colorado. A few weeks later, three families went to eat at Big Pie and then Ev left one sad lady on a rainy doorstep, with a big tight hug and a promise that goodbyes aren't really real. 

I turned twenty on Saturday, and for the first time in five birthdays, I got to be with my best friend. He drove eight hours for me and took me out for a very fun evening of fondue AND Lincoln. 

 

 

 

Between fifteen and twenty, there have been so many adventures: all of them serving to remind me that somewhere in the world is another soul who knows and dreams for my dreams. Who feels my fears, and triumphs at my successes. It is a special thing, to feel joy in the simple knowledge that happiness has touched someone else. Ev, you are special to me.  

TBF

  

I like birds.

I don't think that learning is really learning unless there's some pain involved. The more elbow grease I lather onto something, the better it seems to stick to me. It's not any kind of deep philosophy; it's just a truth that applies to most everything from learning not to wear your favorite white sneakers while mowing the lawn, because suddenly they became your favorite work shoes, to learning to spend as much time with your family as you can, because they aren't always around forever. I am learning a few things right now; some are new battles, others are old:

1. I'yam who I'yam. Sometimes I hide Elise because I forget how much I really like her. Just like anyone else, I have talents and I have things to offer and they ain't too bad. Every day, I'm learning to fill my own shoes and love them.
2. Life comes one day at a time. Gawsh, pity my roommates. I say this a LOT here in Club201. It's something I remind myself of often- decisions that are far down the road must be made far down the road, and the thing to do now is not to fret about things that will come when I am in completely different circumstances and able to handle them, but rather just to keep myself clean and moving forward and not too stuck in any one place. Let the future come when it will.
3. Opportunities that matter only come once. Only once the exact same way. Taking a look at the things I am really grateful for, I find that nearly all of them stem from a choice that was made that could easily have been made differently. The people I love dearly (even the ones I call my family) are with me as a result of somebody's choice. When trivial opportunities come, take them.

I love the symbolism of little birds. To me, they are the image of freedom. What it would feel like to have wings.

TBF

Life As We Know It

PS- When using the phrase, "Life as we know it" as a title- should I capitalize "as?" Gosh, if there is one downfall to the greatness of English and the potent, powerful pen, it's the conventions. Ich.

I finished my classes for the semester today. At this point, there is really very little to do but Totally Freak Out About Finals. Yeah, anyway.

Discoveries I have made this semester:

• I really like to cook. Who knew? Since moving into an apartment and doing my own making-of-money-with-which-I-feed-myself, planning meals, gwocery shopping and (oh yeah) cooking, I have discovered that it's rather enjoyable. I am getting better at it as time passes by. Favorites of the semester: Mom's spaghetti [sauce] recipe, slow-cooked Memphis BBQ, potato-bean-and-carrot-and-beef stew (better name for it?) and Paula Deen's punkin pie.
• Christ really does live and love me. I took New Testament, and as it turns out, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John helped me get to know my Savior a lot better than I ever did before. He knows my name; He knows my heart; He has been waiting for me.
• U.S. History can basically be told as an ever-newly nuanced epic of property, independence, race, and gender. And also, Lincoln wasn't all that keen on the emancipation boat in 1860. Huh.
• I like working in the Creamery WAY better than working in the Cannon.
• S'mores cupcakes at the Cocoa Bean aren't all that awesome...
• I stay up too late.

Also, a great huge shout-out to Ev-dawg, who passed his MPO this week and is now a certified engine driver! I'm so proud of you, Ev. You set your sights on something and you refused to give up till you got there. Catch a fire soon :]

With love,
TBF

Changes

I have not posted in about a week (I think? I don't really remember, actually) because life has carried some changes lately that I have not been sure how to write about. Being the blue-green Golden Retriever that I am (I spent the evening taking personality tests...can you tell?) change isn't my favorite thing. And to add, changes in the past semester have been the kind of changes that do not just happen; I have had to choose to make them happen. Like choosing to change my major. Or personal-life choices. Or choices about things I know I would like to do, but haven't known when to do. Etc.

It seems the older I get, the younger I feel...I have been able to realize a little more fully just how inexperienced I am. There are things I have not seen and felt and experienced yet... not things like seeing the Eiffel Tower. Things like, growing up.

As life moves forward, I am reminded that it is kind enough to come one day at a time.

On the other hand, it is finally December; a month of so many good things! I love December. Last night, though it was not actually December yet, I went to see the lights and the nativities at Temple Square; my favorite part was a toss-up between a Chinese nativity and a Native American nativity. (PS- I can lie to you, and tell you that if it had not been raining, I'd be posting pictures...but that's a lie. I am pretty bad at bringing my camera to things like this, slash, everything.)

It was a wonderful ushering-in of the month (December-eve?)

And now, let the countdowns begin:

Till I am done with finals: 13 days
Till I fly home: 14 days
Till I turn (gulp) 20: 15 days
Till Christmas: 25 days
Till Darry-berry's wedding: 28 days
Till a brand new year, with a fresh beginning: 31 days

31 days.

Flight

I thrust you, little bird;
A haven no more safe for newborn wing
Than the foxhole,

I thrust you out;
Earthfloor broke your wings,
And hid from me my own.

Verdant mind, sweet and green:
Dawn wakes; with freedom, fly
Where God grants the life of each new day.

It's a big world.

Nights are so introspective, for me.

Some nights, I go to bed a little more aware of just how small I am, and just how big the world is. Experiences that should make me feel a little more like I know something usually have an opposite effect.

And there's nothing to do about that, except to keep on living and figuring things out, one day at a time.

One day at a time.

'Night.

TBF

The People Person's Paper People- and TBF's 100th Birthday

Well, first things first. This is my 100th post! Happy birthday, little blog!

I am making my way through a tough wave of school. On Tuesday, I will take my fifth and sixth midterms in eighteen days. Within those same eighteen days, three papers were due and two books were read; jury summons were received and taken care of; classes were registered for, even though they required an act of jumping through a flaming hoop.

Phew. So basically, I've been busy with that and life has rolled on as normal.

Today there were some fun things to note, though:

I came home from class and work today and found this laying on my books! It happens to be one of my very favorite treats, and I knew right away that Miriam had left it for me. I am blessed with good friendships.

Miriam, Celeste and I went to our tri-ward Halloween dance tonight, too- I went as Pam Beesly. (Had simple gold hoop earrings, white sneakers for the Dundie, a Dunder Mifflin tag, and a perfectly nineties clip in my hair. It was a hit, y'all.)

Lots of fun.

Now- about those two midterms. Yawn.

-TBF

Feeling that feeling.

I think it may be a late-night thing- maybe nature's way of telling me to go to bed sooner. But it seems like it's always around this ridiculous time of night that the challenges I'm figuring out in my life can bite the hardest. Some are big- like that ever-pressing homesick thang. Gees I hate that one. Or the bitter-sweetness of knowing that soon, I will be able to send my best friend off on a mission, which is, you know, a great thing that is still a little bit scary sometimes. Some are little. Or, at least, little-er. My five midterms, two papers, and Sunday shift at the Cannon all in the next two weeks, for example. Phew.

Sometimes, I miss my Mom.

Sometimes, I miss my boyfriend.

Sometimes, I'm not sure that I'm actually pursuing the right major.

Sometimes, I just don't wanna grow up.

Sometimes, I'm a little bit selfishly sad that my best friend is getting married and won't be my roommate anymore.

Sometimes, I kick myself a little bit too hard for my shortcomings.

Sometimes, I forget how open the Savior's arms are, at any time of day.

Sometimes, I get lost while I'm driving...

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I remember the network of friends and family that my life is blessed with- and most times, when THAT happens...all the other scary things get a lot less scary, and become a lot more do-able. Sometimes, I remember that, not only am I loved, but that there are other people out there who depend on the love that I have for them to get them through the day. Believe it or not, that can be just as reassuring, or else more.

I am a firm believer that God puts people in our lives- whether as family members, because we wouldn't give them the chance otherwise- or as friends, because he knew we'd need them, perhaps throughout our entire lives or just for a brief moment. I am grateful for the people in my life and I think that you should all know how much you bless it every day. Every, every day.

I'm pretty blessed.

So smitten...

I just keep hoping for a big black box to show up on MY bed...



In case you didn't know, I've officially come out.

I love Klaus...more than Damon.

Truly, it must just be his unparalleled brand of cunningly brilliant evil...

Also, in the realm of living, blood-pumping humans, I love this boy, too :]

He came to see me last week! We had a lot of fun watching scary movies, and skipping class in favor of lunch at my favorite cute little crepe hangout, and watching BYU football, and going to General Conference, and buying new Vans, and meeting my family, and checking out Provo Canyon, and stuff!

As far as regular life goes...this might be my last blog post, as I am fairly certain that BYU is trying to kill me via midterm and paper overload. If, indeed, this should be the case, goodbye, sweet world. Goodbye.

Soon I'm gonna go talk to an advisor about being an ART EDUCATION MINOR so...that's up next on the horizons!

TBF

Paul Ryan, and a cute picture of me and Stef

I FORGOT TO SAY,

That a few weeks ago Miriam and I went to hear Paul Ryan speak at the Utah Valley Convention Center here in Provo.

I promise, we weren't the only ones who took a picture of the ice sculpture...

Here's a little clip of what he had to say:

Basically, there was a lot of Romney's "return to America" stuff; reminding us of the founding principles and everything. But I liked him a lot. My political science professor made a comment about Ryan being a good candidate for the 2016 election, if Romney doesn't win the presidency this time. I could see it!

In more recent news...look who I got to hang out with last night!

How am I going to WAIT?

Dear Blog,

Evan is coming in five days and sixteen hours.

WHY DOES WAITING FOR FIVE DAYS SEEM WORSE THAN WAITING FOR A MONTH?

Signed,

Missing my boyfriend. Sheeesh.

P.S. I have come to the conclusion, over the past couple of weeks, that I am surrounded by a lot of people who haven't had (or at least don't seem to have had) much exposure to the outside of the white, upper-middle class, American experience. I have found myself increasingly grateful for experiences in my life that, at the times they occured, were either ill-receieved or else just unrecognized as being important to my own personal worldview. There have been experiences in my life as mundane as attending a high school that was pretty much as multiracial as it gets, to having close friends deal in an array of different ways with homosexuality, to summer reading assignments that forced me into learning a little bit about other people (namely Muslims.)

Here's when my "P.S." becomes the meat of the post. Ooops. Don't say you're surprised.

Last week, I spent my Thursday morning sitting in a political science lab. We were discussing an article that had been published in the...darn. Wanna say it was the Wall Street Journal, but it might have been the NYT. Anyway, it was written by a non-LDS man about the discrepancies between our (meaning "Americans'") reaction to the recent controversial (and intentionally offensive) movie which portrays the prophet Mohammad (PBUH. I'll be correct) in a very unflattering manner- and the reaction of many Americans to the Book of Mormon musical.

In discussing the article, the following issue was raised: why didn't Mormons react the way that Muslims have?

There are lots of reasons- one being that the Book of Mormon musical is pretty much understood to be an object of humor, rather than direct offense- no matter how offensive it IS, I don't think Mormons have perceived it as any kind of real attack on us as a culture, whereas the Mohammad film was absolutely directed at giving offense and making a negative statement. Additionally, for the musical to even be on the same playing field as the film, I think we would have to exchange Joseph Smith for the Savior Jesus Christ- and then we might better understand why the Muslims felt so upset about it.

However, neither of these- nor anything remotely close in intelligent thought- came from the mouth of my lab-mate. Oh, people. I can't even type it without wanting to yell at him.

A few rows over, some guy raises his hand and in this ridiculously pretentious tone, he said:

No lie.

"Well. The Muslims reacted like that because they just didn't have anything better to do. Here in America, we had to go to work...we had to go to school... we were preoccupied with other things."

Really?

Along the same vein, Darian shared with me an experience from her family life class. Her professor put up a headline- just a headline- and asked the members of the class to comment on their feelings about it.

The headline: "Children Raised by Lesbians Perform Better."

Feelings reported by the class:

1. "Horrified."
2. "Disgusted"
3. "Sorry...for that child, because (s)he will never experience a real family."

This is not a happy thing, blog-sters. It is not a noble thing; it is not a "right" thing. To those fellow students who were probably acting out of the notion that they were defending religious beliefs (as, undoubtedly, some of them were)- is there ever a time when it is appropriate, and when it does not make our Heavenly Father pretty sad and pretty disappointed in us- to look at another human being that is doing the best they can with what they have been given, and say, "disgusting?"

I don't know what it's like to be gay. I do know how badly I want to be a mom someday, and how excited I am to be able to have a loving relationship with my husband and children. I don't know how well that child will perform on standardized tests, with two moms instead of a mom and a dad. I do know that the process for lesbians to adopt is long and difficult, and that children of lesbians therefore have a pretty good chance of being wanted, loved, and cared for much more than they were pre-adoption. I don't know how Heavenly Father helps gay and lesbian people to feel of His love. I do know that He loves them- and that He would not point his finger at his own creation- at his own daughters- and say, "disgusting." He would not do that.
I don't know everything, but I do know that it never hurts to try and look at someone else the way He does.

And..as far as that kid in poli sci is concerned... it never hurts to liiiike... read a book, read the paper, watch the news, and/or give established societies credit for doing more than twiddling their thumbs and staging uprisings. Yeah.
Goodnight.

TBF

Okay, Okay...

I been lazin' and I been called on it.

Here's the story: school started...and bloggie got sunk to the bottom of the priority list. But have NO fear, because after this post, you will not only be ALL filled in...but you'll also be excited for what's coming up! (At least I am!)

I left off with a post about my Judaism class, like, before my Judaism class had even started. So I'll pick up there. School is going pretty well but between that and work, I am feeling a little swamped. Okay, a lot swamped. Mostly, this just means that my social life has suffered a little. Favorite class? U.S. History through 1877.

Seriously, my professor is my idol. And when I was introduced in class by Ian (my neighbor of the day) for being awesome, I DID say that I wanted to be a U.S. History teacher. Which is true. And I also said that my biggest hope and dream was to be as good of a teacher as Fluhman. Which is, actually, also true- but I did make sure to say it in such a way that it came off as more of a funny than as...well, a creepy.

Okay ANYWAY, outside of school, I've started my new job at the BYU Creamery! Here I am, all cute in my uniform:

I'm liking it a lot, actually. It pretty much kicks the Canno- I mean that other job I had...in the bum.

I have a cute new set of roommates, that I LOVE:

From left to right: Miriam, (meee), Jake, Chelsea, Darian.

Jake tends to scare the neighbors...

So there go the basics.

We've had a few adventures while we've been back, too.

First of all: football, y'all:

Regardless of the current standing of BYU... who don't love a good game?

Also, my dear friend Madison came and stayed a weekend. I don't have any cute pictures of THAT fun time, but it still happened.

Then, Kelli came over and threw a jewelry party!

(Apartment 201 became... CLUB 201!)

...because we got this ridiculous magazine with kissing tips and mocktail recipes...

Hehe.

ALSO, we went to the State Fair last Saturday and got hennas...

Guess which one is mine? :] (Sidenote: they were supposed to last 2-3 weeks... it's already gone. Haha. I think it's my fault. I didn't have the patience to let the stuff sit on my arm.)

Since then, I have taken a dive headfirst into my first round of midterms. Some have gone well, some not so well...but I guess that's how it goes. Miriam and I are looking greatly forward to the Season 4 premier of...

You KNOW'D it...

Vampire Diaries!

And also on the radar, is a visit from my cute boyfriend!

So I shall keep you updated on that.

Peace, folks.

TBF