Life As We Know It

PS- When using the phrase, "Life as we know it" as a title- should I capitalize "as?" Gosh, if there is one downfall to the greatness of English and the potent, powerful pen, it's the conventions. Ich.

I finished my classes for the semester today. At this point, there is really very little to do but Totally Freak Out About Finals. Yeah, anyway.

Discoveries I have made this semester:

• I really like to cook. Who knew? Since moving into an apartment and doing my own making-of-money-with-which-I-feed-myself, planning meals, gwocery shopping and (oh yeah) cooking, I have discovered that it's rather enjoyable. I am getting better at it as time passes by. Favorites of the semester: Mom's spaghetti [sauce] recipe, slow-cooked Memphis BBQ, potato-bean-and-carrot-and-beef stew (better name for it?) and Paula Deen's punkin pie.
• Christ really does live and love me. I took New Testament, and as it turns out, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John helped me get to know my Savior a lot better than I ever did before. He knows my name; He knows my heart; He has been waiting for me.
• U.S. History can basically be told as an ever-newly nuanced epic of property, independence, race, and gender. And also, Lincoln wasn't all that keen on the emancipation boat in 1860. Huh.
• I like working in the Creamery WAY better than working in the Cannon.
• S'mores cupcakes at the Cocoa Bean aren't all that awesome...
• I stay up too late.

Also, a great huge shout-out to Ev-dawg, who passed his MPO this week and is now a certified engine driver! I'm so proud of you, Ev. You set your sights on something and you refused to give up till you got there. Catch a fire soon :]

With love,
TBF

Changes

I have not posted in about a week (I think? I don't really remember, actually) because life has carried some changes lately that I have not been sure how to write about. Being the blue-green Golden Retriever that I am (I spent the evening taking personality tests...can you tell?) change isn't my favorite thing. And to add, changes in the past semester have been the kind of changes that do not just happen; I have had to choose to make them happen. Like choosing to change my major. Or personal-life choices. Or choices about things I know I would like to do, but haven't known when to do. Etc.

It seems the older I get, the younger I feel...I have been able to realize a little more fully just how inexperienced I am. There are things I have not seen and felt and experienced yet... not things like seeing the Eiffel Tower. Things like, growing up.

As life moves forward, I am reminded that it is kind enough to come one day at a time.

On the other hand, it is finally December; a month of so many good things! I love December. Last night, though it was not actually December yet, I went to see the lights and the nativities at Temple Square; my favorite part was a toss-up between a Chinese nativity and a Native American nativity. (PS- I can lie to you, and tell you that if it had not been raining, I'd be posting pictures...but that's a lie. I am pretty bad at bringing my camera to things like this, slash, everything.)

It was a wonderful ushering-in of the month (December-eve?)

And now, let the countdowns begin:

Till I am done with finals: 13 days
Till I fly home: 14 days
Till I turn (gulp) 20: 15 days
Till Christmas: 25 days
Till Darry-berry's wedding: 28 days
Till a brand new year, with a fresh beginning: 31 days

31 days.

Flight

I thrust you, little bird;
A haven no more safe for newborn wing
Than the foxhole,

I thrust you out;
Earthfloor broke your wings,
And hid from me my own.

Verdant mind, sweet and green:
Dawn wakes; with freedom, fly
Where God grants the life of each new day.

It's a big world.

Nights are so introspective, for me.

Some nights, I go to bed a little more aware of just how small I am, and just how big the world is. Experiences that should make me feel a little more like I know something usually have an opposite effect.

And there's nothing to do about that, except to keep on living and figuring things out, one day at a time.

One day at a time.

'Night.

TBF

The People Person's Paper People- and TBF's 100th Birthday

Well, first things first. This is my 100th post! Happy birthday, little blog!

I am making my way through a tough wave of school. On Tuesday, I will take my fifth and sixth midterms in eighteen days. Within those same eighteen days, three papers were due and two books were read; jury summons were received and taken care of; classes were registered for, even though they required an act of jumping through a flaming hoop.

Phew. So basically, I've been busy with that and life has rolled on as normal.

Today there were some fun things to note, though:

I came home from class and work today and found this laying on my books! It happens to be one of my very favorite treats, and I knew right away that Miriam had left it for me. I am blessed with good friendships.

Miriam, Celeste and I went to our tri-ward Halloween dance tonight, too- I went as Pam Beesly. (Had simple gold hoop earrings, white sneakers for the Dundie, a Dunder Mifflin tag, and a perfectly nineties clip in my hair. It was a hit, y'all.)

Lots of fun.

Now- about those two midterms. Yawn.

-TBF

Feeling that feeling.

I think it may be a late-night thing- maybe nature's way of telling me to go to bed sooner. But it seems like it's always around this ridiculous time of night that the challenges I'm figuring out in my life can bite the hardest. Some are big- like that ever-pressing homesick thang. Gees I hate that one. Or the bitter-sweetness of knowing that soon, I will be able to send my best friend off on a mission, which is, you know, a great thing that is still a little bit scary sometimes. Some are little. Or, at least, little-er. My five midterms, two papers, and Sunday shift at the Cannon all in the next two weeks, for example. Phew.

Sometimes, I miss my Mom.

Sometimes, I miss my boyfriend.

Sometimes, I'm not sure that I'm actually pursuing the right major.

Sometimes, I just don't wanna grow up.

Sometimes, I'm a little bit selfishly sad that my best friend is getting married and won't be my roommate anymore.

Sometimes, I kick myself a little bit too hard for my shortcomings.

Sometimes, I forget how open the Savior's arms are, at any time of day.

Sometimes, I get lost while I'm driving...

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I remember the network of friends and family that my life is blessed with- and most times, when THAT happens...all the other scary things get a lot less scary, and become a lot more do-able. Sometimes, I remember that, not only am I loved, but that there are other people out there who depend on the love that I have for them to get them through the day. Believe it or not, that can be just as reassuring, or else more.

I am a firm believer that God puts people in our lives- whether as family members, because we wouldn't give them the chance otherwise- or as friends, because he knew we'd need them, perhaps throughout our entire lives or just for a brief moment. I am grateful for the people in my life and I think that you should all know how much you bless it every day. Every, every day.

I'm pretty blessed.

So smitten...

I just keep hoping for a big black box to show up on MY bed...



In case you didn't know, I've officially come out.

I love Klaus...more than Damon.

Truly, it must just be his unparalleled brand of cunningly brilliant evil...

Also, in the realm of living, blood-pumping humans, I love this boy, too :]

He came to see me last week! We had a lot of fun watching scary movies, and skipping class in favor of lunch at my favorite cute little crepe hangout, and watching BYU football, and going to General Conference, and buying new Vans, and meeting my family, and checking out Provo Canyon, and stuff!

As far as regular life goes...this might be my last blog post, as I am fairly certain that BYU is trying to kill me via midterm and paper overload. If, indeed, this should be the case, goodbye, sweet world. Goodbye.

Soon I'm gonna go talk to an advisor about being an ART EDUCATION MINOR so...that's up next on the horizons!

TBF